Lives Changed

Making Choices and Changes

Change is scary. And it takes a lot of time and effort. If marriage is going to work, both parties need to be willing to make it work. If only 1 person does, they will eventually wear out from not getting anything back in it. I don't know one person who could go through marriage always giving and never getting anything back in return. In our case, Lawrence and I both had changes we had to work on. 

I had to change my attitude towards him. If we were going to stay to together I also had to learn to forgive. The hardest thing for me to do was to forgive him for all the pain and hurt he had inflicted upon my heart. Changing your attitude towards a person is never easy either, but with God's help, I knew I could do it. 

Lawrence had a lot of bad habits to kick, starting with the pornography. His counselor was/is fantastic and has helped him come a LONG ways from where he started. It makes a huge difference when you have someone helping you who has been there and knows what you are up against. He also had attitudes to change that were towards me and himself and had to get back in line with God.

We made a pact that we would work through this. After we lost Adora, he started falling back into some of these habits, like smoking and taking money. The difference this time was that he admitted it to me and continued to change. Every one hits a bump in the road and I had to realize that for him to keep on. 

Lawrence took great strides this time in change. He became heavily involved in the local Celebrate Recovery group at our church and he met with his counselor once a week through Skype. It was hard because he was so busy with all of that plus work, but I knew he had to do it in order to change for real and stay changed. 

In this time I also got a second job working with my mom cleaning someone's house along with my Administrative Assistant. We worked SO HARD to get through this. Some friends were so good and I met a lot of new friends along the way who had gone through the hardship of losing a child. 

Both of us knew something different had to happen though! We both knew it. We started talking about leaving the area and starting over somewhere else. It all depended on if Lawrence could get a good job to support us, because right now we were both working, me two jobs and him one full time job! We had been to the Twin Cities on a vacation for our anniversary last summer and we absolutely loved it so instinctively we looked in that area for jobs. I don't think Lawrence knew I was so serious but I was. I needed to get out of that town I had grown up in. It was time to move on.

I applied him for jobs online that sounded promising. I never thought in a million years he would actually get an email back, but he did! Within a few weeks of me doing this! He was asked to come to an interview. My dad helped us SO much through this time, by the way. He drove Lawrence to the interview so I wouldn't have to miss work to. This was so up in the air and so random we had no idea what to expect. 

Well they loved him! He got the job and had to do a drug test and driving test at a later time. My dad once again took him back to the Twin Cities to do so a few weeks later. Once those results came back we had two weeks to move! He passed all his tests and both gave our two weeks notice at work. That felt SO good to do! I will never forget how awesome it felt. Such a scary new journey, but so exciting and freeing. We were off to a new life.

Dad :)

My dad is an amazing man. He took on 4 kids in 1996 and adopted all of us as his own. He has been there through thick and thin for me and our family. I can't imagine where I would be if God hadn't sent this man into my mom's life. He has given us things we would never have gotten. Taken us places we would never have gone. And taught us things only he could teach. He is integritous, honest and always willing to lend a helping hand. When we moved to the Twin Cities, he helped us pack and move the whole 7 hours here. He even helped unpack. He is the best Grandpa I could ever ask for for my kids. I love you dad :)