The Thunderstorms In Life
I know I am not the only one who experiences them. I know I am not the only one who has a day where they just wish they could disappear for a time if not altogether. The thing is, when depression sets in, it is hard to kick. I have struggled with it my whole life due to traumatic events as well as just the normal every day problems people experience.
I am writing this post as a ray of hope for myself as well as others. Lately I haven't been able to shake the funk I am in. Since my wisdom teeth were extracted and the complications that have incurred, I have been in a terrible state of mind that is just like a never ending storm. I feel overwhelmed and depressed. Part of it could be the meds, yes, but some of it stems deeper than that.
Part of it is the fact I can't have another baby. Since we lost Adora my heart has been empty and God does not seem to deem it necessary I have another child. Another part of it is my marriage and the problems that reside in it. Part of it is my loneliness. Part of it is just me.
I know I am strong and can get through this, but during this valley I have to remember what life is truly about. It isn't about ME. It isn't about how miserable I am, because I am just a tiny ant in this giant world.
So how do I get out of this? I press on. How do I come out of it without injuring my soul more than it has been injured? By looking at the big picture and not today. By looking at WHY I feel this way. I am worth something and so are you. More than we could ever imagine. More than we even let ourselves feel or even BE. We are worth it.
And as an ode to those who are struggling, you aren't alone. We all feel this way at times. Just remind yourself like I am doing right now:
YOU ARE WORTH IT.