The Reality of Being a Stay at Home Mom
I love my kid, don't get me wrong. He is one of the most brilliant little persons I have ever met. I am truly blessed to be able to stay at home with him since we moved to Minnesota and in this time I have seen my little boy blossom into a sweet, caring individual.
That being said, today was one of those days. You know, since my husband works 5 days a week from dawn until past dusk, I raise our child alone all but 2 days a week UNLESS by a miracle my husband takes a vacation day but that would only be 5 days out of the year. So yeah, it gets tough.
The truth of it is, I get frustrated. I get annoyed. I get angry. And tonight was one of those nights. Some days I just feel overwhelmed by the fact that I am always with him, not always home, but usually. I cannot wait to buy a house by the end of the year! For REAL!
I don't like to be touched constantly, a human jungle gym or being yelled at because suddenly today he hates his ravioli's. I know it is a blessing to be a stay-at-home, but even when we first moved here and I transitioned from working two jobs to staying home I remember saying that it was easier to work the two jobs.
Raising a child is hard. I am a teacher in more ways than just school subjects. I am teaching him to control his anger, to apologize when needed and to respect others' feelings and boundaries. Being a teacher NEVER stops. I don't get to ring a bell and say "Time to go home!" Though bedtime is a slight relief.
Do I feel bad saying all of this? YES. Do I feel like I am a bad mom at times? YES. But I am human and so is everyone who reads this. I strive my best to always be patient and most days I do a terrific job. But today was just one of those days I ended up yelling at him to just listen and go to bed because mommy couldn't handle it anymore and just needed a break by herself. It makes me feel terrible that I said that, but SERIOUSLY!!! I can only take so much!
When I worked both jobs, I was praised for doing well! I worked with my mom at one so my job was FUN! I love my mom. She is like my best friend! At the real estate agency I got to use my creative streak to the most of my ability and was given wings to do as I would with advertising and got high fives constantly. In this job, I get an "I love you" back once in a while, or "Thank you mummy." The best are the hugs and kisses though.
So as I started writing this all upset and annoyed, it ends with the note that as I am typing, I see my blessing. I see that it is a great privilege to be a mother and a stay-at-home mother at that. I get to raise my child how I see fit and teach him at his own pace the Alphabet and everything else he has to know before Kindergarten.
And to all of you stay-at-home and work-at-home mom's: Kudos. I know the hard work we put in every day, 24/7. For all of you moms that work: Kudos. I know how it feels to come home after a long day of work and see my child for the second time all day and cuddle until they fall asleep.
Both jobs are hard. Both are frustrating and have there upsides and downsides. Just know that we are all doing our best to raise our children to be who they need to be in this crazy, crazy world.
God bless you all.